all4dogs

I  don't usually like to devulge my personal life but sometimes it helps to write about things in order to get them off my chest and off my mind.I watch alot of true crime programs.That's one of the great things about satellite T.V.,the choices of different programming.I watched the story of serial killer Wurnos,the first women serial killer What totally stunned me was the parallel of our lives.I had a mother who not only emotionally abused me but pysically abused me.I never got along with this woman.She left my brothers and I when I was 12 and her son,my half brother was 13.As I look back,I see how she favored the son she concieved with a convict before she married my dad.I was out on my own at 13.I got involved with drugs and the street life.I ended up doing 6 mos. in juvenile hall.Got pregnant when I got out,was forced to go back to this woman and her worthless younger husband.4mos later she threw me and my brothers out again.Only this time I was 7 mos. pregnant.I had the chance to ask her a few years ago,why she left us.She blamed it on my fathers family,saying they had made death threats against her.I know that was a lie,my step father was not respected by her children.She picked him over us.I spent almost 1000.00 going to Texas to see this woman after almost 20 years.I had always thought that when you go to visit someone it is customary to show them around.Is'nt it?I spent 2 and 1/2 weeks in Texas,and never saw one thing except the corner store.I could have stayed home and used the thousand on my two kids here in California.I don't have money like that.it was part of a settlement.I feel like just burning the money would have given me more satisfaction than going to Texas had.I was able to forgive her,she never said she was sorry.It was everyone elses fault for what she did to her kids.It was my fault she treated me like she did.I do not call her mom,and I cannot say I consider her any type of a friend.She certianly was never a mother to me.I let go of the hate I had for her,now I just feel pity for her.Her own brother diowned her for what she did to her kids.And she cannot admit that.She claims ignorance as to why he refused to have anything to do with her.Sad thing is,she thinks no one knows why either,but they do.Just as I do.I guess what I'm feeling is that it's ok now.Ok to cut her out of my life.I have finally come to terms with the fact that I never will have the kind of mother you read about.The friend,the one person who loves you no matter what.She is not capable of those feelings.I can let go and know that it was never my fault.It was always her loss.

I am pretty picky when it comes to feding Gracie.I read labels on my own food,so why would'nt I do the same thing for Gracie.I have watched videos of what happens at rendering plants.For those of you who don't know what a rendering plant is let me clue you in.When your dog dies at the vets,you most likely let the vet take care of the disposal of the body.NEVER,EVER DO THIS!!!!Take your pets remains home.Why?You love your pet right?For tose pets that the vet is left with,they are picked up by a huge truck,put into a barrel and then taken to the rendering plant.To be chopped,smashed,crushed with flea coller on,and made into a mush with hundreds of other dogs.This is no called meat by products and dog food producers buy this mush to put into dog and cat food.What is really scary is these dogs have died of cancer,and other illnesses.And they are putting it in a food that you will buy and feed your new dog.This is Not healthy food.I refuse to feed Gracie 90% of the dog food that is for sale in stores.I do buy all natural foods with NO BY PRODUCTS.There are a few good dog foods around,but you must do your homework.I have been buying dog food from NATURE'S SELECT.It is a little bit more expensive than most foods.But,the food is 100% natural and they deliver to my home.Gracie loves the ELK JERKY.I usually get the CHICKEN WITH SALMON OIL,but this time I bought the CHICKEN,BEEF AND SALMON OIL 20lbs.Gracie will actually eat this food.She loves it.I never give Gracie beef.It is usually chicken that she gets.Chicken livers are a favorite for her.As I said you really have to do your home work on what you give your dog.A quick meal for Gracie is brown rice,sweet potatoes and chicken livers.It covers all the food groups and she feels she is getting something special.You can find NATURES SELECT  on the web.They have delivery services just about everywhere.Remember,you get what you pay for.I'm on a limited income,so I'm not buying dog food that is priced outragously.It is a great food to feed my dog,so she stays healthy and that saves money in tha long run because I don't have to take her to the vet all the time.